By Deborah Honeycutt
Youve seen XO as a sign-off representing love, affection, or friendship on letters, cards, emails, chat rooms and text messages. You may have even been torn on whether or not to include both the X and the O, considering one signifies hugs and the other means kisses. Use the incorrect symbol, and one could get the wrong idea!
We cant be 100% sure why or how XOXO ultimately came to mean hugs and kisses, but we do at least have a reasonably good theory to work with on the X part.
Signing letters with an X dates back to the Middle Ages. At this time, many couldnt read or write, so this was an easy way for someone to sign something and, particularly in legal documents, assert that whatever was said in the document was true. Specifically, the X represented a Christian cross/Christ at this time, so by signing X, youre essentially saying In Christs name, its true / I assert.
X first started being used as a substitute for Christ by religious scholars about a millennia ago, which is actually how we ultimately got Xmas as an alternative name for Christmas. The X here is not actually the English X, but rather the Greek letter Chi, short for the Greek for Christ, .
In any event, the X was thus used on documents in this way. It is thought that perhaps the X made the jump to kiss as people sometimes would kiss the X (Christ), in the same way some would kiss the Bible- in this context more or less sealing it with a kiss.
An alternate, somewhat less likely theory thats popped up very recently is that the X simply looks like someone puckering up for a kiss, or two people kissing two people with triangular faces apparently.
Whatever the case, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first usage of Xs to mean kisses came in a letter by a priest, Gilbert White in 1763:
Madame, In the whole it is best that I have been the loser [of a friendly bet], as it would not be safe in all appearances to receive even so much as a pin from your Hands.
I am with many a xxxxxxx and many a Pater noster (Our Father) and Ave Maria (Hail Mary), Gil. White.
However, while we cant say for sure, it seems just as likely that he actually meant blessings not kisses, as pointed out by Stephen Goranson of Duke University. He noted the lack of any other instance of X meaning kisses for around another century after this letter. Further, in Daniel Defoes 1719 work Robinson Crusoe, we have this, among other, reference using crosses (in this case physical crossing) as blessings:
There was a letter of my partners, congratulating me very affectionately upon my being alive, giving me an account how the estate was improved, and what it produced a year; with the particulars of the number of squares, or acres that it contained, how planted, how many slaves there were upon it: and making two-and-twenty crosses for blessings, told me he had said so many AVE MARIAS to thank the Blessed Virgin that I was alive
Whatever the case, around the mid-19th century we start to have numerous references to Xs meaning kisses, such as in Aunt Judys Magazine (Issue XI p. 669 which is thought to have been published between 1866-1885), where one person notes: All these crosses mean kisses, Jemima told me.
From this, at least we know the Xs meaning kisses preceded Os as hugs as there are no such references up to this time of the latter, so thats something I guess.
If you werent satisfied with the lack of definitiveness of the X part of things, youll be even less so with the O symbolizing the hug. The most popular theory here pre-supposes the reasonably likely X / Christ signing theory is correct. The theory then goes that the O is of North American descent, with illiterate Jewish immigrants who couldnt sign their own John Hancock arriving to the U.S. and refusing to sign with the X (Christ/Cross) and instead using a circle on documents for a signature. (Incidentally, many etymologists believe this is how the derogatory racial slur for Jewish people kike came about, kikel being the Yiddish word for circle- Jews being associated with circles as thats how illiterate Jews would sign, rather than with the Christian X.)
Many people believe the O made the jump to meaning hug because, by looking down on the O from above and squinting just right, it sort of resembles two people embracing, but this is just pure speculation. Its also been speculated that the O was perhaps not chosen for the Jewish reason, but rather was in connection with tic-tac-toe, which popped up shortly after the first confirmed references to Xs meaning kisses. Thus, once it became common to have a single letter to mark kisses, there was a need for a similar letter for another form of physical affection, hugging, and the game of tic-tac-toe perhaps provided the inspiration Or perhaps it was the other way around or maybe it really was the Jewish signing method that provided the XOXO inspiration. And perhaps, in either case, the O sort of looking like hugging contributing to the choice, or perhaps not! We just dont know! This is fun!
Now I know what youre thinking, if the X means kisses and the O means hugs, why do we say hugs and kisses when someone writes XOXO and not kisses and hugs? That ones also largely still up for debate as well. (I know, youre shocked.) Is it simply because one does not want to presumptuously go for a kiss when you havent even hugged yet? Is it?!?!
One alternate theory that has gained a little traction over the years, is that the above theories on the X and Os are all wrong and it is the X that means hugs, mimicking two people embracing, and the O that appears to be a mouth puckered for a kiss, hence why its hugs and kisses. Given that we know from documented references that Xs first meant kisses before XOXO came about or Os meant hugs, we can safely ignore this latter theory.
One thing we do know for certain, this post now holds the new record for being the least definitive article ever published by TodayIFoundOut.com. But, at the least, I hope it was an interesting read. It certainly was interesting to research.