By Ankita Gupta
On the 29th of October, Sukanya and Rameshan were joined together in holy matrimony. The wedding took place in the brides ancestral home in Perla, Kasaragod. Sukanya was decked out in a magenta silk saree, gilded in traditional ornaments, with jasmine blossoms adorning her hair. Rameshan was draped in a handloom kasavu mundu starched in white. Their horoscopes aligned perfectly, their families approved of their union, and auspicious garlands were exchanged subsequently. After the ceremony ended, the guests were treated to a sumptuous sadhya. It was like any generic South Indian wedding, except for one fact: Both Sukanya and Rameshan have been dead for several years now. They had breathed their last when they were still babies. Their miniaturised effigies, sculpted from timber and thatch, observed the marriage rites.
Pretha Kalyanam: For a match made in heaven
Necrogamy, or Pretha Kalyanam, is prevalent in many communities across India. In this strange ritual, grieving kinsfolk unite their deceased children in wedlock. The ceremony is a part of the ethnic culture of the Nalkadaya, Mogeyar, and Mavilan hamlets, which the borders of Karnataka. Instead of denouncing it as an act of superstition, the communities perceive ghost marriage as a means of honouring the dead. The families believe that their beloved dead ones would be granted salvation only when their marriages are solemnised. A formal wedding ceremony is arranged by the clan so that their children can finally be laid to rest.
Ghost nuptial rituals
The practice of Pretha Kalyanam starts with the search for a suitable bride or groom for the dearly departed. The horoscopes of the young ones are matched by a learned astrologer, and a betrothal is formed once both the families consent. On the day of the wedding, the grooms family arrives at the brides doorstep, bearing gifts. They carry effigies to represent the spirits of the dead, which are made out of wood, hay, or silver and are draped in traditional attire. Mantras are chanted, garlands are interchanged, and vermillion is smeared on the brides forehead. The brother of the bride circumambulates the kalyanam hall, wielding the effigies. The sepulchral wedding concludes with the relatives and guests being served a delectable meal, served on a banana leaf. After the feast is over, and the guests are gone, the grooms family takes leave with the brides effigy. In the night, the figurines of the newly-weds are placed under a Sataparni tree or are immersed in a water body. Some families even choose to cremate the effigies together, forming the last leg of the ritual.
Child marriages consecrated in necropolis
Sukanya and Rameshan were the second couple to be wedded in the Kasaragod district this year. Pretha Kalyanam is carried out between a bride and groom who had died before reaching adulthood or who were aborted as fetuses. Members of their families fear that the souls of their progeny would wander for eternity, without attaining peace. This is believed to cast a spell of bad luck on the other siblings, who may face detriments in marriage or child-conception. The family astrologer is approached, who promptly declares that happiness can only be restored if the souls of the deceased are laid to rest. He claims that a posthumous wedding is an infallible solution to ward off ill omens and bring salvation to the spirits of those who died before they had a chance of enjoying marital bliss.
Cold feet
The idea behind Pretha Kalyanam is not singular to India. Spirit weddings are a common practice in nations like China, Sudan, and France. It is argued that these rituals are harmless and they bring solace and happiness to the families of the departed. The younger generation, however, is castigating the practice of ghost marriage. The age-old ritual, which was previously bolstered by the entire neighbourhood, is now being conducted discreetly in the presence of close family members only. The mindset of the communities is changing, as these rituals are now being spurned as a disturbing psychological game.
Featured Image Source: Pixabay