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18 Jan, 21
18 Jan, 21

Moving On from a Relationship and How to Start Healing

Breakups feel like the world has come to a standstill, especially for the one being dumped. A lot of investment goes into a relationship only to end up in what was not planned, a heartbreak! Since we never really plan for heartbreaks, it is quite hard to deal with one. Nonetheless, with sites such as […]

By Qrius

Breakups feel like the world has come to a standstill, especially for the one being dumped. A lot of investment goes into a relationship only to end up in what was not planned, a heartbreak! Since we never really plan for heartbreaks, it is quite hard to deal with one. Nonetheless, with sites such as Calmerry, the healing process has been made easier. You can enroll for relationship counseling online using your phone and make your healing process become faster. 

Learning how to live without someone you were fond of is not a day’s work. Hence, sometimes you might find yourself stuck in the past, and you may not be conscious of it. It is why some people look for relationship counselors online to help them get through the healing process. Below are some ways you can make your healing process easier after going through a breakup. 

Allow Yourself to Have Feelings

Healing is a process, and you might never heal. Some memories can never be erased, and something as small as a stranger’s shirt can remind you of your ex-partner. However, to achieve maximum healing, you need to go through a process of acceptance. It involves accepting that the relationship is over and allowing yourself to feel sad or disappointed. Whatever emotion you feel, do not brush it off. Allow yourself to feel it as long as you do not cling to it. Online counseling can also help ignite your emotions; when you talk about it, you will be able to feel it. 

Surround Yourself with a Positive Support System

Breakups are moments of weakness where your vulnerability is exposed. You might be tempted to make wrong decisions like jumping into another relationship immediately. Therefore, you need a support system to talk to and to give you advice on things that may not seem right. During a breakup, you may not be able to think straight and make rational decisions. It is where your friends and family come in to help you go through the whole process.

Ensure you are close to your friends and family during this time and tell them anything you think, whether good or bad. You can also find a relationship counselor online to assist you in dealing with the situation. 

Do Away with Sentimental Things That Remind You of the Relationship

Even if you dated for one month, something would always remind you of the person. So, get rid of it. It is even harder for people who were in a long relationship or marriage. Having your ex-partner’s clothes or gifts they bought you can serve as a reminder of the relationship. Consequently, you would be placed in a bad space mentally. Thus, if you are having trouble moving on, get rid of the reminders, no matter how precious they are. However, if you do not mind having them around, then it is okay to keep them. 

Think of Going for Therapy

Couples therapy always has a way of working magic, and you should try it. Healing is not a walk in the park, especially if regrets and self-blame are involved. Nowadays, teletherapy platforms such as Calmerry allows you to acquire counseling at the comfort of your home. Therefore, if you want to fasten your healing, you can take up therapy online. Counseling will help offload all the emotions that you have been holding back. As a result, you’ll be able to clear your mind and even focus on finding love elsewhere. 

Keep Yourself Busy

If you had put your hobbies to a stall, this would be the right time to go back to them. For instance, if you love swimming, ensure you do it frequently. Healing time is also the best time to find other new hobbies to keep your mind busy. Being busy helps you avoid thinking about the breakup. 

Also, join clubs such as book clubs. They will help you interact with people. Isolating yourself is not a remedy, and you may end up being depressed without noticing. 

Bottom Line

There are several ways of achieving healing after a breakup. Follow through with what works for you. If it’s online counseling, then ensure you open up to your therapist. However, whatever you do, do not lock yourself up and feel sorry for yourself. Remember, healing after a break up is a gradual process. So, allow yourself to go through it fully before you can decide to hop into the dating scene again.


Kate Skurat

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Washington, United States

Kate has a B.S. in Psychology and M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and has worked in healthcare since 2017. She primarily treated depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, and grief, as well as identity, relationship and adjustment issues. Her clinical experience has focused on individual and group counseling, emergency counseling and outreach. https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-skurat-5348381b9/


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