The reasons for the separation of a married couple are rarely the subject of heated debate and high-profile discussion unless they are egregious cases that imply general public censure. However, most of the real situations that lead to filing for divorce are based on a combination of minor domestic troubles and small factors that are difficult to recognize even at close range.
In fact, very few divorced men and women are determined to analyze their and their partners’ behavior in past relationships. Not everyone is ready to admit their mistakes and work to overcome them in the future, just as very few are ready to touch upon painful topics associated with an unsuccessful marriage.
According to the latest sociological data, confirmed by one of the leading web services for online preparation for divorce proceedings, Complete Case, in total, no more than 20% of the service’s customers speak of the reasons for filing for divorce, even though the respondents are anonymous to the survey.
At the same time, many family psychologists and relationship experts believe that by analyzing some of the behavioral characteristics of married couples, it is quite possible to predict whether spouses will soon get divorced. So, this article will try to focus on some of the most common cases on the topic.
The age difference is more dangerous than it might seem
An interesting sociological research report published in 2015 in “Economic Inquiry” magazine found that the odds of divorce among heterosexual couples increase with the age gap between spouses. According to the research, a one-year discrepancy in a couple’s ages makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference makes them 18 percent more likely to split up. And a 10-year difference makes them 39 percent more likely.
Various examples of world culture over the centuries have introduced the idea that all ages are submissive to love. However, in practice, everything happens a little differently, and everyday life has little to do with romantic feelings. It is difficult for people who are representatives of different generations, even with a gap at the age of no more than 10 years, to maintain common interests and aesthetic guidelines.
Is it worth hurrying up, or is it better to wait?
For some, this may seem strange, although it is quite obvious that marriages between young people automatically fall into the conditional risk group. Of course, this does not mean that all men and women under 20 are utterly unprepared for family life. But statistics are stubborn things.
The research suggests that extremely young couples who marry in their youth are at greater risk for divorce than couples in their late 20s and early 30s. The risk is especially high for teenage couples. The best time to get married is when you feel ready and when you’ve found someone you think you can spend a lifetime with.
Jamie Kurtz, a family law expert from Online Divorce, one of the leading modern divorce preparational web services, believes: “This trend will always continue, as it is part of human nature and depends on the gradual development of emotional intelligence with age.” At the same time, young people in the 21st century are much less eager to start families at a young age than prior generations.
When “time is running out”
What does society think about the other side of the coin – “too late” marriages? The annoying “When will you finally get married?” question from family and relatives that so often poked fun at in humorous sketch shows is actually not so ironic. Indeed, even for such a phenomenon, there is scientific justification.
Such opinions are indeed nothing more than stereotypes imposed by society. But it is also true that late marriages and too early, fall into the risk of divorce. According to research led by Nicholas Wolfinger, a professor at the University of Utah, after age 32, your odds of divorce increase by about 5 percent every year.
In a blog post for the conservative-leaning Institute for Family Studies, Wolfinger stated, “For almost everyone, the late twenties seems to be the best time to tie the knot.” In any case, the results of statistical studies do not mean that every too late or too early marriage is doomed to failure. Everything has its time.
Too much love will kill you?
The subtitle of this section is not a quote from a song by Freddie Mercury. It’s a presumptive diagnosis that many family psychologists make for some relationships. Too paradoxical, isn’t it? How can a union of two people who love each other very much be at risk of divorce? But this fact has a logical explanation!
If you’re not inclined to hug and kiss and hold hands as newlyweds, that might be a problem. But if you practically have to be pulled apart, well, that might be a problem, too. Psychologist Ted Huston followed 168 couples for 13 years – from their wedding day onward. Huston and his team conducted multiple interviews with the couples throughout the study.
One fascinating finding from the results was published in the journal Interpersonal Relations and Group Processes in 2001. According to Huston’s findings, “As newlyweds, the couples who divorced after seven or more years were almost giddily affectionate, displaying about one third more affection than did spouses who were later happily married.”
Of course, such a factor is not an obvious symptom of a short-lived marriage. But in practice, it turns out that the brighter something flashes, the faster it burns out. And always maintaining a violent passion between spouses is much more difficult than systematically developing and strengthening the relationship.
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